Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Do You Remember?


Do you remember how we fell in love?

We always talk about our love as being easy. Since the moment that we committed to each other we have never broken up, nor been apart. We have avoided so much of the unnecessary drama that seems to plague many a relationship. Our connection is one based on true friendship, and you are unquestionably my best friend, the man who I want to share everything with. We live together, work together, and have traveled together, rarely complaining about the need for space. This is not to say that we don't crave time on our own, but rather that we are truly comfortable with one another, and actually prefer to experience life together.

When we first began dating and were trying to keep our relationship light and non-committal, I feel like we purposely avoided doing anything too romantic. It seemed that we actually approached our courtship first as 'buddies', then later as lovers. I clearly remember the first time you did something 'romantic' and I was completely flustered. We had spent our usual weekend day together casually exploring San Francisco, and having a lot of fun. Somehow, we had decided to drive your VW van to Treasure Island (an ex military base/naval station). We snuck down to an empty beach, and strolled quietly around. I don't remember doing a lot of talking (we've never felt that pressure and have been comfortable with silence), but I do remember a lot of hand holding and silly giggling. You ended up taking off down the sandy beach, while I rested in the warmth of the sun. When you returned, you had picked a bunch of yellow, wild flowers and held them out for me. I think I laughed. It was so sweet, and I was a little taken aback, and confused. I think there was a little embarrassment on both our parts at how we had both arrived to this point, after trying to be casual about our feelings, and actually suppress any romantic hopes.

It wasn't until much later in our dating game that we decided to give up our charade and admit that our feelings for one another had grown deep roots and were much more serious than we had ever intended. We were at the end of the plank, and had decided to jump into the deep end, hand in hand. It was shortly after becoming "boyfriend and girlfriend" that you invited me to San Jose to meet your parents. I think we stayed for the weekend, sleeping in the back of your van. Could that be right? One of those afternoons, your Father took us for a walk through some pretty trails in the neighborhood. I have no recollection of the conversation, but will never forget that you held my hand the whole way. You made me immediately feel comfortable with your parents, as you had no qualms about physically showing that I was your girlfriend, and not just some random girl, in their presence. I was incredibly happy, smelling that familiar California sage, feeling the dry heat on my shoulders, and the warmth of your palm. This memory has a movie-like quality, where I can see the dappled shadows of trees and shrubbery in our path, and realized that I loved you. It was the simple truth. Just recognizing something that had been slowly buiding inside of me was a wonderful feeling. Several days later, we spent a slow-paced morning together, in and out of each other's embrace, and I finally told you, "I love you". It was easy, and I was not consumed with any fears that this emotion might not be reciprocated by you. You either would feel the same or not, and that wouldn't change my own realization. You were quiet, but not in a bad way. While you were making us brunch, I busied myself in the bathroom. All of a sudden you called out to me, "I don't know what I'm waiting for. I have wanted to say 'I love you' to you, but kept waiting for the 'right' moment... I love you." It was said, and it was soooo simple.

Daniel, I love you very much. You make it easy. Happy Valentine's Day!

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