Day By Day
"I don't want to live day by day." said my husband about a week ago. I know that there was something deep that was puzzling his mind, but I didn't have the effort at the time to go spelunking through the caverns of his brain. I think I literally begged off the discussion citing my usual exhaustion and inability to focus before imminent sleep.
A couple days later, I tried to engage him in a conversation about whatever he could have possibly meant by that statement, and timing was not working for us again, as work stress dominated his thoughts.
I do know that the gist of what he was trying to express had something to do with the fact that we cannot figure out where we want to live and what we want to do with our lives. It's sad and further frustrating to be in our mid-30's with dead-end careers, no property, and no clue on how to change our situation.
On our trip to California, we were bombarded with the usual questions about if we were going to have another baby, how long we were planning to stay in New York, and where did we want to move. Yes, we want another baby, and are 'practicing'. No, we do not see an endless future in New York, as we are sick of living in a one and a half bedroom, dinky flat, 4th floor walk-up, and can't even fathom paying the kind of rent required for bigger digs. Now, IF we knew where else we wanted to live, life would be soooo much easier. With our pregnancy hopes, we know that our decision-making time is limited, as I think I will turn into the BIGGEST Witchiest Bitch of the East if I have to climb our stairs with a bowling bowl in my belly and a toddler on my hip. Really. This CANNOT happen.
Of course, moving is no easy feat. Even IF we knew where to move, we would still have to pack up our apartment, find movers to ship our stuff, and be prepared for a whole lot of headaches and expense. We feel that we have to be very sure before we embark on this stressful journey. BUT, we also like the idea of NOT deciding, and instead, putting all of our crap in storage (more expense), and subletting our way around some interesting cities in the U.S.. Our neighbors are renting a summer house On Shelter Island on Long Island for two months, working from their temporary home. There is no reason that we couldn't do something similar. I also like the idea of going places where we don't have to spend a lot of money, like our parents houses in Naples, FL. or Los Angeles, for a month stretch. The plan would be to work during these times - it's not a vacation, but maybe give ourselves some more perspective with the stimulation of a new environment.
Am I stoned? Is this a truly cock-a-mamie idea with an under 2 year old, and a possible pregnancy? Could we really live out of a suitcase as a family? If we are subletting furnished homes, will this be affordable, comfortable, or enjoyable? Will I go nuts without my stuff and Stella's toys? I think we'd have to buy a car, and lug more belongings around. What about a regular doctor/midwife (and no, I am not pregnant yet)? How much would it cost to store all of our furniture, etc. in the new York area? There is so much to consider, and some very exciting ideas, that my head is spinning. In the end, everything will boil down to money.
Anyway, my point, hijacked from my husband, is that it is time to start making plans. We can't keep on pushing off decision making. It is time to de-fog and clearly assess/analyze our situation and options. We must be proactive in moving toward change and a new and hopefully bright future.
A couple days later, I tried to engage him in a conversation about whatever he could have possibly meant by that statement, and timing was not working for us again, as work stress dominated his thoughts.
I do know that the gist of what he was trying to express had something to do with the fact that we cannot figure out where we want to live and what we want to do with our lives. It's sad and further frustrating to be in our mid-30's with dead-end careers, no property, and no clue on how to change our situation.
On our trip to California, we were bombarded with the usual questions about if we were going to have another baby, how long we were planning to stay in New York, and where did we want to move. Yes, we want another baby, and are 'practicing'. No, we do not see an endless future in New York, as we are sick of living in a one and a half bedroom, dinky flat, 4th floor walk-up, and can't even fathom paying the kind of rent required for bigger digs. Now, IF we knew where else we wanted to live, life would be soooo much easier. With our pregnancy hopes, we know that our decision-making time is limited, as I think I will turn into the BIGGEST Witchiest Bitch of the East if I have to climb our stairs with a bowling bowl in my belly and a toddler on my hip. Really. This CANNOT happen.
Of course, moving is no easy feat. Even IF we knew where to move, we would still have to pack up our apartment, find movers to ship our stuff, and be prepared for a whole lot of headaches and expense. We feel that we have to be very sure before we embark on this stressful journey. BUT, we also like the idea of NOT deciding, and instead, putting all of our crap in storage (more expense), and subletting our way around some interesting cities in the U.S.. Our neighbors are renting a summer house On Shelter Island on Long Island for two months, working from their temporary home. There is no reason that we couldn't do something similar. I also like the idea of going places where we don't have to spend a lot of money, like our parents houses in Naples, FL. or Los Angeles, for a month stretch. The plan would be to work during these times - it's not a vacation, but maybe give ourselves some more perspective with the stimulation of a new environment.
Am I stoned? Is this a truly cock-a-mamie idea with an under 2 year old, and a possible pregnancy? Could we really live out of a suitcase as a family? If we are subletting furnished homes, will this be affordable, comfortable, or enjoyable? Will I go nuts without my stuff and Stella's toys? I think we'd have to buy a car, and lug more belongings around. What about a regular doctor/midwife (and no, I am not pregnant yet)? How much would it cost to store all of our furniture, etc. in the new York area? There is so much to consider, and some very exciting ideas, that my head is spinning. In the end, everything will boil down to money.
Anyway, my point, hijacked from my husband, is that it is time to start making plans. We can't keep on pushing off decision making. It is time to de-fog and clearly assess/analyze our situation and options. We must be proactive in moving toward change and a new and hopefully bright future.
posted by mrsgreen at 12:49 PM
3 Comments:
You and Dan have rich Nomadic blood pumping through your veins. If there is any couple and adorable little girl who could handle living out of suit cases for a couple months in order to finally narrow down where to buy a home it is you three. At least the idea of living at both sets of grandparents' houses is feasable because it is both inexpensive and supportive. I think it is a great idea.
Hello there, I came across your blog after finding your beautiful Tanzania pictures on pbase.com before a recent trip to Africa (which really made me excited about visiting that country!). I just read this post of yours and I want to suggest that you don't entirely exclude the idea of living and working outside of the US. I'm an American who lives abroad and I see many American families enjoying a high standard of living with their children. In many South American, Middle Eastern, and Asian countries you can access good quality health care, live comfortably on a single income, and hire help around the house...plus the kids learn to speak two languages and are more aware of what's happening around the world. In addition, sometimes the cost of a plane ticket to another country can be almost the same as the cost of flying inside the US. I'm sure you've already considered these things but this is my encouragement to a fellow traveler. I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Take care and good luck! Renee
Again, I know I'm biased, but I still suggest you consider Portland, ME. For what you are paying now, you can get this:
http://maine.craigslist.org/apa/358816786.html
(if the link doesn't work, that's a 4BR, 2BA house for under $1500 a month. You can also buy something really decent for around 200k.)
I know it's hard when your family lives on the other side of the country, though. But Nick and I will be here to babysit!
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