Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Informal Seven Year Anniversary

It took me a while to write about New Year's Eve because I didn't have a list of pithy resolutions, and we didn't celebrate the holiday with a crazy all-nighter, highly inebriated and in costume at a gala event. We actually realized that very night, that we hadn't done anything but stay at home since NYE 2003. In fact, we don't even remember what we did in 2004 - so memorable the date. This New Year's Eve I wanted to be different. In truth, this date is very special to Dan and I, as it represents our 'commitment' anniversary.

We first began to date under awkward circumstances. We were both single, but recently separated from very serious relationships. Dan had been living with his ex-girlfriend, his high-school sweetheart, and the on and off object of his affection for a decade. I had just ended an engagement to a strangely magnetic man who I never really liked. These relationships were over, but anything that would quickly follow seemed likely to be suspect of rebound. The reality was that both Daniel and I were trigger shy, and really wanted nothing more than companionship, no strings attached. In fact, we were not interested in romance with one another for one key reason - we worked together. VERY AWKWARD. The first time we socialized outside of work was at a music concert. Our mutual loneliness and appreciation of live music initialized our friendship. I suppose we would have continued to get together as buddies if it were not for the gear loosening effects of alcohol, and an honest enjoyment of each other's company. What started as an easy friendship for all the things we had in common, slowly blossomed into a real relationship for all the right reasons. We took our time, still healing from previous wounds, and tried to keep our connection light. We even dated other people, and were open and honest about this fact. Eventually, my feelings were deepening, and I was no longer comfortable with this level of freedom. In a very logical way, I explained to Daniel that the laissez-faire quality of our relationship was no longer possible. I certainly understood if he didn't want to take it to the next level, but needed to know if that was the case and cut my losses short. I guess I was giving him a bit of an ultimatum, but really felt that I was being honest and upright. Lucky for me, Dan also believed that we had something special, and since we had so much fun together, he couldn't let 'us' go, and watch our chance at something meaningful just slip away. He admitted that our natural bond deserved focus and special attention - true commitment. New Year's Eve 1999 officially marked the night that we decided to open our hearts to the possibility of love between one another and shut the door to all other unknowns.

Our new roles as parents have often lead us away from each other. In the sense that so much of our time and affection is directed toward our daughter. I have suffered the effects of a shrinking libido, and therefore Dan has suffered the effects of my shrinking libido. I'm sure I don't have to go far in explaining how caring for a little baby who is regularly attached to your body takes the sexy out of your life and leaves exhaustion and dreams of Calgon baths in it's wake. Anyhow, I readily admit that a little effort goes a long way, and if there is anytime to appreciate the wonderful man I share my life with, December 31st couldn't be better.

Daniel is better at romance than I am, and is known to surprise me with flowers and spend a lot of time coming up with thoughtful gifts for celebratory occasions. I'm not so good at this and tend to scramble at the last minute, sometimes ashamedly empty-handed. This New Year's Eve would be different. Despite the fact that we had no plans, other than to try and get Stella down at a reasonable hour (a continual struggle), and watch some T.V., I wanted this year to be special. My plan began small. First, I made early bird reservations at a local rustic Italian restaurant for the three of us. Then, I got a card and some goofy New Year's hats to wear in privacy, while we watched the ball drop on our 19-inch Zenith. Then, I went big and splurged on some French champagne, caviar, and petite fours for dessert. Both Dan and I had never had caviar, and I felt that it was high time we treated ourselves to something luxurious and moment-defining. I prepared all the essentials for a caviar spread - toast points, chopped chives, finely cut red onions, hard boiled eggs, minced and separated into tiny bowls of white and yolk, creme fraiche, and sliced meyer lemons, all served in small dishes of Chinese porcelain. The end result was actually quite good, and rich!

Right before midnight, Stella woke up and joined us in the living room for a group hug as we listened to firecrackers and noisemakers in the streets of Brooklyn. We managed to get her back in bed without too much difficulty, and resumed our night alone. Let's be frank, I was treating my man, and the only way to truly accomplish this was by getting our groove on. Goodbye 2006! You were wonderful, but I think that 2007 might just outdo you.


Blogger Rein Morgen said...

Funny, I keep our wedding toasting glasses out. They are not stored away somewhere in the unknown. If glasses are on the table, let's groove! Kids are down and I am down with it! LOL

I love that you tell it like it is. Gosh, try going for three kids and one with autism. One of the affects of autism is insomnia. It is a tough one, but well worth all the chapters in my life story:)

Best to you in 2007 and always.

10:49 PM  
Anonymous from:Mom G said...

Such beautiful words from such a beautiful Lady.How fortunate Dan is to have found his true Love,and how fotunate we are to have not only you in our family,but your love for each other has given us "truely the most beautiful child in the world...."Of course some others would disagree with us,but I only tell the truth....Every day(as you know)I start out going to your site and everytime I read it I begin to learn things about you,(and Dan)that just can't be said over the phone or even in person.You are filling my heart with such joy and admiration.Keep writing,my mornings would not be complete without a kick start from my"daughter". Love you Sarah,MomG.

P.S.Don't worry about your libdo it does come back(when your children have moved out)just kidding,it does get better. You just find the that special time like you did at New Years and it will come.

12:46 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

What an absolutely happy ending. Or at least happy ending to this short chapter in a long long story. I'm sure it all made up for 2004.

As for us? We were home by 9:30, asleep by 10. I tried to wake him up when I heard the revelers out my window at midnight but no such luck. Sigh.

7:01 PM  
Anonymous All my love, Mom said...

Refresher course: New Year 2004 at the Campos' compound, in the midst of early weddin glans. House full of revelers asleep on the living room floor. I'll certainly nevre forget that New Year's party. The quiet, intimate ones can e equally wonderful as you so aptly wrote. It's good to hear Rein's voice. If you read this Rein my hat is off to you and all that you are doing,
Grandma G., I'm so glad you're there to love and support our children.

12:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cannot believe you are not drinking "Brut premier" I cannot show this to Mick!

9:32 PM  

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