Tuesday, June 26, 2007


I'm ready. I want another baby. I hope this isn't like telling people what your birthday wish is, when blowing out the candles, and forever ruining your chance of that dream coming true. I am just excited to think about a new being, magically concocted from Dan and my genes, that I can't help sharing my anticipation.
I love Stella so very much, that I am mesmerized by her every expression and burgeoning understanding of our world and the function of all minutiae in our life. Knowing how much better being a parent gets, from the stress of trying to get a newborn to stop crying, to the brief moments when your eyes lock and recognition is achieved, to the now frequent "I lub you"s and the leg hugs, I can't wait to start all over again. I like to think of Stella with a sibling, and imagine how a new and different personality would balance the energy in our household. I also have crazy dreams of three children, which makes my nearly 35 year old body feel the pressure to get a move on it. Dan wants a son, as do I, but having a little girl has been a great deal of fun... something I'd like to repeat. I love to think of Stella having a little sister, near in age, destined to be her dearest friend. Then, just as quickly, I counter that image with imagining her kindly shepherding a little brother along a shared path. I'm sure that both my brother and sister would agree that I fulfilled neither of the above roles, something I have had some lingering guilt about. I hope I don't place some unrealistic pressure on Stella (or myself) to have the idyllic sibling relationship that I failed at as the eldest child. As an adult, I am so very thankful for my family, and grateful for time and maturity, which have strengthened and deepened my relationships with my siblings. It is never too late!

Anyhow, I do like the idea of a family that is more than a trinity, and hope that we can experience this. I have lots of ideas for girls names. Now, all that I need is a stellar choice for a boy, and I'm sure that I'll be ready!


Blogger Reino said...

I want fourth child, a girl! Morgen wants a lil sister too. We'll see...

I remember you would get so mad at me for playing with Paloma. I always wanted a younger sister and filled that need with yours. LOL I am sure Paloma doesn't remember. Remember when you made her eat a dragon fly? EWWWWW Anyhow, there was just too big of an age gap between my siblings and I, so go for it for Stella!

5:31 PM  
Blogger Swankyloma said...

Sarah, you were a good big sister. I remember you surprising me with a Barbie mansion, a mystical diarama for my half human half animal dolls, teaching me how to dress better, applying make-up on me, and helping me buy a pregnancy test (that was scary). The only thing that got in the way was our age difference, but that gap has grown smaller the older we have gotten. We have a mutual love and respect for one another that grows as time goes on. I am glad that I had you, my older sister, to look up to when I was a little girl. I am even happier that I consider you one of my dearest friends.

2:08 PM  

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